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quick shots

Thursday, August 23, 2007

I’m back home after a whirlwind trip through California. During the weekend I had the chance to sample a number of noteworthy beverages. Here are some quick summaries.

a jeraboam of Smith & Hook 1979 Cabernet Sauvignon At a family party we drank a jeraboam (5L bottle) of 1979 Smith & Hook Cabernet Sauvignon (Santa Lucia Highlands, Monterey County, California). It was rather amazing. I mean, of course it has lost the brambly notes that I remember from the last time Dear Old Dad brought a bottle out, but it must have been 15 years ago that I last tasted it, and it is still a large cabernet with good structure. It may well be in the “drink it if you’ve got it” category. But I know there are more in the Dad’s cellar. I avoided food saturday night in order to help Dad finish the bottle.

potent potables For a late night treat, I brought a bottle of Nocino della Cristina from Monteverdi Spirits and we had drams of this thick sweet (green)walnut liqueur. The producer describes it as divestivo but I find it so sweet that it is more of a nightcap, perhaps a seduction device. And it would be incredible in steamed milk. All of us who tasted it found it almost syrup-sweet.

For my former housemate Aaron’s birthday, I brought him a bottle of Eau de Vie of Douglas Fir from Clear Creek Distillery (Steve McCarthy) I’ve been a champion of this white spirit flavored by infusing dougles fir buds since I tasted it in 2004. It is a perfect digestif: incredible aroma that cuts through the postprandial drowsies and slightly fiery with alcohol, precisely what is needed to fuel the fourth round of a full evening’s discussion.

Aaron and Kami have been growing a dwarf citrus tree, the Rangpur Lime. It is an incredibly sour and tart, surprisingly orange, thick-skinned citrus fruit. It is an amazing lime. I want a tree, if it will produce in Portland. If you ever see these mandarin limes, lemandarin, nasaran, sour tangerines, listed, obtain some for gin and tonics.

Aaron has taken up brewing again. This time his interest is in belgians and flemish and older styles. He had a soured porter that was in its second bottling (the bottle fermentation was uneven and too sour, so he blended half the batch and re-bottled). We tried it sunday night. I found it amazing (Aaron thinks that the blending worked and it had also mellowed a bit); I want to taste this style again. Does anyone have suggestions of commercially available examples?

On my agenda for the next two weeks is a comparison of maraschino liqueurs, a couple of endorsements of liquor stores, and the formulation of a couple of drinks we’ve been subjecting to bibation analysis here at the Prince of Cups.

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On Mojitos, and the Men That Make Them

Thursday, August 23, 2007

The Mojito.

First, let’s get this as clear as a cocktail: if you are of the opinion that Mojitos are meant to cost $14 and come with a black straw, you are a victim of small thinking. If you believe rum drinks are for girls in Ugg boots, I’d like to remind you that pirates do not wear Ugg boots.

Furthermore, I’d like to remind you that the Mojito was Hemingway’s favorite cocktail, and that man ended up BLOWING HIS OWN DAMN FACE OFF.

Here’s the Princeton Review SAT Prep version of what I am saying:

Courtney Love & Heroin : Kurt Cobain’s face :: Mojitos : Hemingway’s face.

That said, I make the best Mojito ever conceived. Sadly you do not know me personally, because I would be happy to make one for you. Also I’m quite the conversationalist so I’m sure you’d enjoy my company. Quite a shame for you.

(Continued)

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For the sports-themed drinker on the go with more money than sense

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

It’s like an energy gel, but for drunks – the Pocket Shot. Not only is it not price effective – only 10 Bodines – but it’s disposable. No word yet on if the bags are recyclable.

I can’t see any particular use where this would be better/nicer than a flask. In fact, if you poured bottom shelf plastic jug tequila in a sammich bag, you’d get about the same effect. Now pound that back at a $60-per-ticket-plus-$20-in-ticketbastard-fees Hot-Topic-teen-“punk-means-wristbands-and-eyeliner” concert until Mommy can come pick you up in her BMW X5 and you’re dead in their marketing sights.

In the Booze Council’s opinion, this thing sucks. Pounding back a pocket shot means you’re an underage, sleazy alcoholic with too much money. Taking a nip off your flask is classy, tasteful and refined. Not to mention it’s cheaper, allows you to put in whatever top shelf whiskey you please, more environmentally friendly but has a certain je ne sais quoi that exudes charm and dignity.

The pocket shot – yet another flashing banner ad in the myspazz world of drinking trends, a world that should be overstuffed recliners in an oak-paneled library with a greyhound peacefully snoozing next to a roaring fireplace. Buck these awful new trends. Raise your flasks, America, and ignore these terrible new ideas.

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For the bartender on the go

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

For the habitual drunk, little is needed to quench the thirst. A bottle of charcoal filtered vodka from the grocery store, an old 6 pack of Miller found in the garage, an unattended bottle of vanilla extract in the kitchen, any of these things will help you tie your buzz on when you absolutely can’t drink something tasty.

On occasion though, the connoisseur demands something more flavorful, more sophisticated, something that may have actually been designed for consumption as a cocktail. That’s why we all carry around the memory of at least one cocktail, for those rare moments when we go to a bar looking for something more than to kill the pain. Maybe you’re with a lady (or dude, whatever), or maybe you’re just looking to fool yourself into believing that you don’t need a drink, you just want to wet your whistle.

Some of you like the Cosmopolitan, and know that it’s Vodka, Triple Sec, Lime juice and Cranberry Juice. Some of you like the Margareta and know that it’s Tequila, Triple Sec and Lime juice. Some of you are real men like me, and know that the only think you should mix in your bourbon cocktail is ice, and then only if it’s hot outside. What about those of us who have short terms memories though? What about those of us who can’t remember things like our phone number or wife’s name when we’re drunk? How are we supposed to know what kind of cocktails to suggest to the marginally attractive woman sitting by herself?

Thank god for the internet. It is littered with cocktail recipes. Some of them you likely remember, even if only vaguely. Others, I’m sure you’ve never heard of. Use the following online resources to determine which cocktail will best suit your drinking needs.

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Shaken, not shtirred

Monday, August 13, 2007

It turns out that a martini shaken – not stirred – helps deactivate hydrogen peroxide (an antioxidant) better than gin or vermouth alone and twice as effective than when stirred. This is important because 007 is a tough old bastard, and part of his health may be due to competent bartending.

Never you mind that Bond ordered a total of 19 vodka martinis to 16 gin ones in the original novels, or that he (and Fleming) both enjoyed bourbon more. And don’t even start on that fruit cocktail/booze abortion of a vesper.

If anything, this should just tell you one thing: have a goddamn drink, already.

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Hello world!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Now get me a beer.

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